This is the first in a series of blog posts where I share sayings or pieces of advice that have proven themselves useful again and again over the years, either in my own life or when I coach other people.
The first saying I wanted to share is one I came up with myself,
“Awareness is a victory”
We glorify action. We live in the start-up focused age of “move fast and break things.” A consequence is that we don’t value an activity unless there’s a tangible outcome, we’re constantly hunting for the minimum viable product. On top of that, we feel that we have to be good at everything, right away. Any resistance when we begin doing something is therefore a sign that we’ll never make it and this is stupid. “Awareness is a victory” sits directly in opposition to those views. Feeling the resistance. Having done something just to do something. Knowing yourself. These are worth celebrating.
I use the phrase “awareness is a victory” in one of two places
1. When I am about to try something a little scary, something new or particularly difficult or where I might fail. This is a way to acknowledge that this is about to feel weird. But if you let yourself sit in the weird, you are guaranteed to leave the experience with an understanding of your own personal version of how weird this feels. That personalized weirdness is the only way to grow and understand if you actually want to do more of this thing.
2. Looking into the past. This is a reminder that even if an activity isn’t glamorous or shareable or hasn’t lead to something tangible that you will then side hustle, it was still worth it if you were mindful of yourself while you did it. For example, I recently started chewing my food more. Not glamorous. At all. Pretty gross actually. But it completely changed my perception of the food I eat. I’m starting to move away from processed foods because they feel so strange and sweet after a few more chews. I realized that I was eating unneccesarily fast. Even if I don’t lose 20 pounds with this one weird trick, this new awareness is a victory because I can better understand myself and my relationship to food.
I’ve been reflecting on this phrase recently in part because I have a few friends that are entering their own “awareness is a victory” phase, where they have suddenly been able to see blocks that have stopped them moving towards things that they want to do.
Without seeing the blocks, the hidden patterns that are stopping you, lasting change is very hard.
Without seeing the blocks, you can take action but often it will be ineffective and you’ll probably get demoralized or hurt.
The action first narrative will say that it was your fault. If you wanted it hard enough it would have happened. But clearly there’s another way.
“Awareness is a victory” is really just here as a reminder that knowing yourself deeply is awesome. That every little time you let yourself acknowledge the truth of what you want or how the world is making you feel is worth celebrating. That even if it’s scary, it’s always worth going deeper down this rabbit hole. Because each time you do, you move closer to who you are and who you could be.
